Bonding with Baby and early return to Job

Featured, Parenting

These days, most mothers return to their paid jobs very soon after having their babies. Financial necessity and demanding careers put huge pressure on women. Finding trustworthy child care can be very difficult. Apart from that, mothers often grieve because they feel they are losing the precious first months of their babies’ lives, and they worry about the effects of early separation on their babies.

Babies will form strong emotional bonds with mothers and fathers even when they are cared for by others during the day. Loving care provided in the mornings, evenings, weekends, and (of course) in the middle of the night is enough to cement the bond from the child’s side (see “What Children Need” in Section III for children’s feelings of attachment).

I’ve seen many mothers pull back emotionally in the first days of their baby’s life because they are getting ready for the time, all too soon, when they will have to say good-bye. This is a natural self-protective response, but it can place great strain on a mother and on her relationship with her child. Fathers usually feel these strains less, because they are used to the idea of jumping right back into their jobs.

My advice to mothers (and fathers) who feel pressured to return to jobs earlier than they feel comfortable is, Listen to your heart. If there is any way you can stretch your maternity leave, even if it means a loss of income, you may end up glad you made that choice. By about four months most mothers feel much better about heading back to their jobs, having had a chance to really connect with their babies and eager for the adult companionship of work.

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